Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack Project Backpack

( Just more of the same )

*coughs, expelling dust*

It's been fun. Not real fun. But that kind of fun that you don't mind, if nothing good is on tv... or no one's around to talk to... or you have some elves to be eating... etc, etc.

But it was fun.

Sometimes I think that Arda should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

Never use the phrase, "Well fuck me sideways," in front of an ent.

*limps*

Was spinning about enacting the Maria on the mountaintop scene from Sound of Music, when something went terribly wrong. Picture it, if you will.

THE HIIIIIIILLS ARE ALIIIIIVE...*spinspinspin* WITH THE SOOOOOUND OF...why am I dressed as wonderwoman? OMGWTF??

Yeah. I spin and suddenly I'm dressed for crime fighting. I'd show you but.... spandex panties chafe. And the red go-go boots? So not my style.

I'm one year old today!

*hulas*

I shot a man in RenoRivendell, just to watch him die.

Really. Fucking. Bored.

I think the slow-moving house is pregnant! I'm hoping for a garden shed.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I'm just not impressed with toast.

I was brushing my teeth when I nearly choked on the brush, as my lawn gnome went flying past. Upon investigation, I've found it attached to a motor on the roof of the slow-moving house by a wire. It continually flies past the windows.

Meh. I think I'll leave it.

Why, oh why, am I awake at this ungodly hour? Anyone? Anyone? Could it be the ent that strolled by with its head on fire? Noooo. Could it be my lawn gnome is once again glued to the ceiling above my head? Nooo. Could it be the elf, two dwarves, and the hobbit I ate? Nooo. Although that elf keeps repeating on me.

So what is keeping me up?

I can't remember all the words to the Mr. Ed theme song.

Oh the tragedy!

No I don't shit in the woods. I use a damn toilet like everyone else. Don't listen to Ruby Gamgee. She molests innocent lawn gnomes. UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!

I have found a package of pez, but no pez dispenser. Times like this I wish Ruby were still around.

*trips and mauls an elf*

It is a little known fact that lawn gnomes keep pests out of the garden. Armadillos and small hobbits though, pretty much go where ever they want.

That's what the garden hose set on high pressure is for.

Checked the spider traps, but no Ruby Gamgee. I have, however, caught two chipmunks, a dwarf, one slightly annoyed postman, and a tennis ball.

The war continues.

I sat up in bed and came face to face with the horrible visage of my vacantly grinning lawn gnome. Someone had crazy glued him to the ceiling over my bed as I slept.

THAT'S IT!

I randomly declare war on Ruby Gamgee. You're going down little lady.

"Spiders come out of their dark places at night and crawl around your home looking for food. Some spiders do bite people. To eliminate them, simply place a few of these sticky traps in a quiet corner, along a wall, or under your bed, and dispose of trapped spiders in a few days as they become caught in the special attractive adhesive."

Perfect. I'm going to lay a carpet of these around the porch and roof of the slow-moving house. Then I'm going to wallpaper the inside, and cover my furniture in these little bad boys. Finally? That's right. Spider-trap three piece suit. I'll be stylin'.... and safe from any vindictive ex-bitches wanting to make a little Beorn steak tar-tare and rump roast. My rump is made for shakin' not bakin'.

Crazy.